• Paul Barrere

Fact or Fiction

You ever wonder how when you walk by your “smart TV” you can say something about a show, movie or whatever, and then a day later there it is in you Netflix cue, or Hulu, or some other network? Or, if while sitting in front of your computer, you have a question that you say out loud or ask your computer to google it, lo and behold there it is along with other things with the note saying “you might be interested” in this? Algorithms got us all by the “insert your own nasty place here”, kinda why I started blocking the cameras built into my lap top and desktop machines. The machines are taking over. They’re stealing you Orgones Bix (see Dr. Wilhelm Reich) a google to make you giggle.

There I was in lotus position contemplating my navel, digging the sound of one hand clapping, when boom! my computer drags me out of my reverie. WTF is it now?

Another alert about my data security? Like my cats stuck up in a tree. Should I call the fire department? Nope it’s the same A-Holes trying to scam me again. This time I’m on to them like ugly on an ape and just shut down the apple like it’s served time for Miss Demeanor. But wait, now my iPhones barking up a storm?! “Who can it be now” starts playing in my head. I politely say hello and the voice on the other end sounds like Slum Dog Millionaire saying hello it’s Mark from your internet security service. At this point, knowing I don’t have an internet security service, I realize he thinks I’m the Mark. I’ll say one thing about these hackers, they’re persistent. And for this time the call is coming from Thailand.

There may be seven seas but now a daze there seems to be a few more, and these are filled with Pirates. Arrrrg matey!!! Talk about your national emergency. I’ve been hacked in the last three years more than I can say, from mildly like an AOL bug that sends shite to my contacts, “oh please copy and paste this into an email and send it to all your friends”, to the last one where they tried to wipe out my bank account. I caught on in time to avoid a catastrophe and to report the issue to the local police fraud division. But then I got a new alert and phone call from the same bozos and once I told them I got them reported they just seemed to shrug it off like it ain’t no big thing. I guess it ain’t, cause they keep on calling, sometimes live and sometimes with a taped message that goes like “Hello, don’t hang up, this is your internet security service with an important message.”

Between the hackers, Robo calls (yes, I’m on the don’t call list) and passwords, I think I’m ready for that private island wearing a loin cloth!!! Not a pretty picture I know but hey it sounds like heaven to me, but alas I’m back in the lotus position, having contemplated my navel but still digging on the sound of one hand clapping!!!

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